Is independence really all it’s cracked up to be? I’ve been lauded as an independent woman for
a long time, and while that is a nice compliment, it also makes me feel like I
am independent of any one as well. Yes,
I get that is an inference I’m applying; these people mean no harm. It’s just that I’m exactly 29 ½ years old,
have a great job, and am terrifically independent. However, I’m single. And, being single at 29 is not the most ideal
place to be.
-
Selection: The choice
of guys has dwindled since you were in your young to mid-twenties. This is due to guys getting married, having a
baby mama, etc. This brings me to my
other point on this subject – kids. It
seems like at least 60% of single guys have kids. What the hell? Kids are cool. I don’t have any of my own, but I adore my
best friend’s daughter and would do anything for her. That said, kids create a difference. It does.
I’ve dated a man with kids. He was
a great father. His schedule also
revolved around his kids. This is a good
thing, but to someone who didn’t have those responsibilities, it certainly
created a difference in our everyday lives. At 29, you’d be surprised how many people have
kids, an ex-wife, an entire other obligation.
I do not have an ex-husband or kids, and sometimes I can’t help but want
someone who doesn’t either.
-
The Meet-Cute: You
know how in movies, the guy and the girl magically meet in the coffee shop
because she got his order, they exchange a corny yet captivating moment, and
attraction and magic and maybe a few mishaps lead to love? Yeah, that doesn’t happen. At least when I was younger (and before all
my friends were married), going out was something I enjoyed doing. Now, I like to do it. Sometimes.
But, the idea of going out and being “on the prowl” isn’t enticing. Am I going to meet anyone at home? No. So, I have to go and I do. But, still.
It’s not always a good time and the cheesy lines about where to meet
guys never seem to apply to where I live. Grocery store? Ha!
Library? Keep ‘em coming. Coffee shop?
I still need to manage the art of lingering to refine this one
apparently. The point is, it IS hard to
meet people.
-
Guys in the Modern Age: Technology has changed
everything. We are all entirely too connected,
in my opinion. And yet, I am just as guilty
as the next gal. I have a Facebook
account and an iPhone, both of which I give me instant access to information,
most of which I wouldn’t necessarily have access to, at least without some
decent stalking. In the past, dating
someone meant not knowing their activity between dates or calls. Now, though, you generally already are
friends with the guy on Facebook or become so soon. The access is instant. You can see when he was last online, when he’s
out with friends, and whatever he may have found funny that day. The access is too much though. It takes the learning curve out of the
game. This leads to text messaging. I love texting. I’m not going to complain about it. To me,
phone calls seem personal. I like them,
but they are not necessary in the beginning.
Ask me out via text? Sure, do
it. But don’t be lazy about contacting
me just because you know we both have a cell phone and a shout out is just a
couple of finger taps away.
-
Getting Away with It:
Sometimes being a girl just sucks.
It seems like no matter what the relationship is on the guy’s
terms. I may be a sadist, but, generally,
when a guy obsessively pursues me I
don’t like it. A little bit of a chase
is nice. But, where is the line between
a little and a lot? This is where I get
myself in trouble. It’s an easy line to
cross. I think in this easy age of
communication, laid-back attitude and sexual freedom, drawing a line becomes
like painting the Mona Lisa. Very few
can do it. So, guys get away with
it. And, in this day and age, the
expectations have been lowered. Not to
say all guys have been lowered in esteem, just that what society had created as
dating standards went out the window the minute the booty text was invented.
-
Sex: At 29, sex is
something that I love. It shouldn’t be a
game. Somehow, in the dating world it
seems to have become one. There is no
right time to have sex. Especially at
this age. My opinion is do what feels
comfortable. It can muddy water or it can
clear the head or it can lead to something more or it can even lead to nothing
at all. Do it because you want to. Don’t think twice about your decision
afterwards. Hard sometimes? Yes. But there’s
no reason to feel bad about something you WANTED to do.
-
Playing Games: I like
games. A round of HORSE on the
basketball court, a game of cards, or even a go-round on the Wii. However, when dating, games are something I
could do without. I just don’t get
it. I mentioned it with the hot and the
cold comment earlier. Why are guys like
that? Either way too in to it or overly
laidback? I’m a straight forward girl
and the guessing game doesn’t do it for me. I have a lack of patience when it comes to
dating. I need to learn patience, but
damn it’s hard to do when you’re navigating the first few weeks of dating
someone new. Dating games seem the norm
these days, though, so I better pick up a piece and learn the rules.
Selection: The choice
of guys has dwindled since you were in your young to mid-twenties. This is due to guys getting married, having a
baby mama, etc. This brings me to my
other point on this subject – kids. It
seems like at least 60% of single guys have kids. What the hell? Kids are cool. I don’t have any of my own, but I adore my
best friend’s daughter and would do anything for her. That said, kids create a difference. It does.
I’ve dated a man with kids. He was
a great father. His schedule also
revolved around his kids. This is a good
thing, but to someone who didn’t have those responsibilities, it certainly
created a difference in our everyday lives. At 29, you’d be surprised how many people have
kids, an ex-wife, an entire other obligation.
I do not have an ex-husband or kids, and sometimes I can’t help but want
someone who doesn’t either.
The Meet-Cute: You
know how in movies, the guy and the girl magically meet in the coffee shop
because she got his order, they exchange a corny yet captivating moment, and
attraction and magic and maybe a few mishaps lead to love? Yeah, that doesn’t happen. At least when I was younger (and before all
my friends were married), going out was something I enjoyed doing. Now, I like to do it. Sometimes.
But, the idea of going out and being “on the prowl” isn’t enticing. Am I going to meet anyone at home? No. So, I have to go and I do. But, still.
It’s not always a good time and the cheesy lines about where to meet
guys never seem to apply to where I live. Grocery store? Ha!
Library? Keep ‘em coming. Coffee shop?
I still need to manage the art of lingering to refine this one
apparently. The point is, it IS hard to
meet people.
Guys in the Modern Age: Technology has changed
everything. We are all entirely too connected,
in my opinion. And yet, I am just as guilty
as the next gal. I have a Facebook
account and an iPhone, both of which I give me instant access to information,
most of which I wouldn’t necessarily have access to, at least without some
decent stalking. In the past, dating
someone meant not knowing their activity between dates or calls. Now, though, you generally already are
friends with the guy on Facebook or become so soon. The access is instant. You can see when he was last online, when he’s
out with friends, and whatever he may have found funny that day. The access is too much though. It takes the learning curve out of the
game. This leads to text messaging. I love texting. I’m not going to complain about it. To me,
phone calls seem personal. I like them,
but they are not necessary in the beginning.
Ask me out via text? Sure, do
it. But don’t be lazy about contacting
me just because you know we both have a cell phone and a shout out is just a
couple of finger taps away.
Getting Away with It:
Sometimes being a girl just sucks.
It seems like no matter what the relationship is on the guy’s
terms. I may be a sadist, but, generally,
when a guy obsessively pursues me I
don’t like it. A little bit of a chase
is nice. But, where is the line between
a little and a lot? This is where I get
myself in trouble. It’s an easy line to
cross. I think in this easy age of
communication, laid-back attitude and sexual freedom, drawing a line becomes
like painting the Mona Lisa. Very few
can do it. So, guys get away with
it. And, in this day and age, the
expectations have been lowered. Not to
say all guys have been lowered in esteem, just that what society had created as
dating standards went out the window the minute the booty text was invented.
Sex: At 29, sex is
something that I love. It shouldn’t be a
game. Somehow, in the dating world it
seems to have become one. There is no
right time to have sex. Especially at
this age. My opinion is do what feels
comfortable. It can muddy water or it can
clear the head or it can lead to something more or it can even lead to nothing
at all. Do it because you want to. Don’t think twice about your decision
afterwards. Hard sometimes? Yes. But there’s
no reason to feel bad about something you WANTED to do.
Playing Games: I like
games. A round of HORSE on the
basketball court, a game of cards, or even a go-round on the Wii. However, when dating, games are something I
could do without. I just don’t get
it. I mentioned it with the hot and the
cold comment earlier. Why are guys like
that? Either way too in to it or overly
laidback? I’m a straight forward girl
and the guessing game doesn’t do it for me. I have a lack of patience when it comes to
dating. I need to learn patience, but
damn it’s hard to do when you’re navigating the first few weeks of dating
someone new. Dating games seem the norm
these days, though, so I better pick up a piece and learn the rules.
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